Doc Hoppin' Pill Shoppin'

Tuesday, the dermatologist cut out a lipoma tumor which is basically, a bunch of weird fatty.  It wasn't life-threatening or, anything like that but because of it's location (between the shoulder blades and on my spine) and my spinal history, he decided to go ahead and remove it.  Otherwise, I could have continued on living life with mini-Me glued to my back.  It looked like a large cluster of white grapes, smothered in pizza sauce.  All together, it was a mass about the size of a racket ball maybe, a small tennis ball.  Anyways, he made an inch long vertical incision and spent the better part of an hour pulling it out.  I was surprised at how forceful they were with it because for some reason, I thought it would be all loose and might break apart but, this was not the case...and that makes sense because if it were so fragile, it most surely would've broken up and been absorbed into my body, long ago.  When he finished removing it, he stitched it up with five stitches and put a two inch bandage over it.  Now, I'm not a pansy or, anything but I was a little taken aback that they directed me to take Tylenol ExtraStrength for the pain!  They had numbed it up during surgery with local anesthetic and when that wore off, it was a bit tender.  A "bit" meaning that it felt like someone nailed me in the middle of the back with an errant golf ball.  Now, my beef is simple:  Why do I get jipped on the pain meds all of the time???  In the past 375 days, I had five (what I like to call) surgeries:  LASIK eye surgery, a vasectomy, 4 cavities filled (read post about my root canal near-miss!) colonoscopy, and lipoma tumor removal.  For those procedures, I was prescribed a grand total of 2 Valium and 2 Hydrocodone.  Can you guess what was prescribed for which?  One Valium went for the LASIK and the other one and two Hydrocodone went for pre-op prep vasectomy.  Topical numbing agents were employed for all procedures but, hell....those wear off fast!  Since I am a guy and I don't like being a baby about pain, I never asked for pain med prescriptions.  But, I shouldn't have to, right?  So, what's the problem?  Are these such common and minor procedures that most doctors do not prescribe pain medicine for these?  Am I unfortunate enough to get very chinch doctors.  I have a few tattoos so another theory that I have been working on is that they view me as a pill-shopper!  Could it be that they see me as a scumbag punk who is just trying to get his hands on pain meds?  I knew when I sleeved up and decided to make my lifestyle choice that I would meet some negative bias.  I am Caucasian but feel the effects of discrimination on occasion.  Don't get me wrong, it's great being white and I'd never compare myself to the struggles of other races after all, I can always get a shave and a haircut, wear long sleeves and slacks, and maneuver about slanted society all with James Bond-like stealth.  It ain't all that hard to live with my decisions but, sometimes they bite you in the butt.   I would think that these instances would really be bias because I wouldn't submit myself to these types of procedures just to get a handful of pain relievers.  I have submitted myself to.  Certainly, there are other less invasive procedures that professional pill shoppers use to minimize the physical ramifications?  I just don't know.  Maybe I am being too self-conscious.  Anyways, I'm not a cry-baby (although, as evidenced by this blog, I whine....often) and I'll never ask for a prescription - just because it feels creepy asking for something that should already be provided.  Just maybe....Tylenol ExtraStrength is such a great painkiller that it is universally being prescribed for all sorts of pain relief scenarios?  No way, Jose.  That crap can barely handle my headaches.  Besides, the urologist directed me to take Advil.  So, I guess I just need to get used to it, eh?  Jack Daniels has been working out just fine (ironically, I cannot take Tylenol (acetaminophen) with alcohol).  I don't really see the trend changing anytime soon...and I sure hope I don't need anymore procedures, ha!